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Unfulfilled potential
About two weeks ago, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. I can’t quite grasp it yet. On the one hand, I feel like I’m still 16, desperately counting down the days till 18. Yet on the other hand, I feel like I’ve already lived a bunch and see 25 inching ever closer. It is difficult because while I don’t care one bit about getting older, I’m starting to feel the weight of the last few years more and more, feeling like I’ve barely accomplished anything. It is absolutely suffocating, this unfulfilled potential. All my life, I’ve struggled to find my place in the world, a place where I fit in. And…
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Dancing in the rain
Healing isn’t linear. It is uncomfortable and painful, but it is also kind of beautiful. It is a balance between joy and grief. These past few weeks have been some of the most challenging, frustrating, yet clarifying and joyous weeks of my life. Now, if you think that’s a huge contradiction, yes, I’m perfectly aware that it is. But I can’t think of a better way to describe it — between joy and grief. See, about two and a half months ago, covid finally caught up with me. After I had managed to avoid it for the past two and a half years. And partly because of the now limited…
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Light and dark
2020, a rollercoaster of emotions. I don’t quite know how to put it. This year has been very challenging; I was forced to postpone any and all hiking plans, at first due to the pandemic and later due to an unfortunate knee injury. I found it difficult to navigate through each day and it pushed me right back into the darkness. But most heartbreakingly: I lost a friend. My heart goes out to anyone who has lost a loved one, especially during these trying times. Needless to say, like so many others, I can’t wait for 2020 to end. This year has definitely made me reevaluate my priorities. I realise…
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Dreaming of the future
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” I can confirm that’s a question you get asked frequently when growing up. Indeed, someone asked me just last week, making it the third time this month. But the answer? “I honestly don’t know…” When I was little I really wanted to be an actress. And I still love acting; when an opportunity presents itself I’ll most certainly get back on stage. But it’s more of a hobby. And I don’t think acting in front of the camera is for me, although I’d never say never, of course. Today I’m not so sure anymore. There are a lot of things…
